Parents will typically assign motives to their child’s behavior. Their definition may be accurate…or NOT. Most times when the parent is inaccurate, it is due to either misunderstanding or over personalizing that child’s behavior. Attention Parents: Do not take your child’s behavior personally. Although it may feel this way at times, children do not typically engage in behavior for the sole purpose of making your life miserable. They do not consciously with premeditation and malice plot to do so. Children are egocentric and are attempting to get their needs met through whatever means possible, consciously aware or not. Because they are attempting to get a need or goal met does not necessarily mean they are misbehaving. Keep in mind that your children do not have the same priorities as you. They do not place the same importance on the task or directive that you have just given them. They do not think as much “in the future”. In other words, they are far better at being present, living “in the moment” than we as adults are.
It is a natural process to assign meaning to your child’s behavior. My best advice is to practice overriding that default setting and look for what is motivating that behavior. Remember, there is a goal or need to be met. It’s about them not you.
